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| I'd rather be the sinner... |
| Wednesday, 09 April 2008 | |
 A thought from this morning... I've been "in ministry" for the past decade. And, if I'm honest, never felt like I needed much grace. Or at least I didn't know how to walk in it. I was brought up in a Christian home and the "big sins" were not really part of my journey. I grew up in church... then I started working in the church... or at least at them. Tried to hold it all together and be a good leader... a perfect leader. That's the way it works. If you question... if you struggle... with doubts or sin... don't let anyone know. Keep your head down and work... produce... perform. But, when I look in the Word, Jesus reserved his greatest disdain for those who were "perfect." And at present, with all my failings and visible imperfections, when I look at Jesus' response to the two groups... those with rocks in hand refusing grace... and those in desperate need of it... I'd rather be the sinner. And if God sees fit at some point, to have us reengage the leadership call... I'll answer but I won't go back. I won't do life that way again. I'm thankful for grace and I'll walk in it because only grace frees me from having to be perfect. Jesus stands between the sinner and the Pharisee... where are you? Tags: Grace Church Rembrandt Art
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Comments (17)
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written by haiza , April 09, 2008 "Tried to hold it all together and be a good leader... a perfect leader. That's the way it works." This is exactly why I had to leave. I rather be out in this world trying to figure it all out, struggle and find myself confused then fake it in leadership. I couldn't do it any longer. Love you guys and miss you!
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written by danette lyons , April 09, 2008 glad to hear from you guys! One thing I especially love about our Pastor here is that he is so transparent. I mean who he is at home is who he is at the office and out to dinner etc.... He lets you see that he is human and that he fails. I love that! And as for Grace...well, where would we all be w/o it? We all struggle and ask questions. We try to be "real" with our youth kids. It's the only way :)
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written by life skills coach , April 09, 2008 Couldn't express our heart in better words. Livin our grace walk everyday. About to launch and do it our way.
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written by John G. , April 10, 2008 I am not a big believer in the "system" holding anyone down. We are all responsible to find and engage God. But the American Church system (and it is the American System, sure as hell isn't the Biblical system) tends to put "leaders" in larger than life roles, asking them to be the "one." The one with answers, the one telling others how to live. Its just to much to bear. The day before I resigned from ministry, this was said to me in a staff meeting. "Well, John if they don't get it on Sundays, when will they get it." Thus the problem. The Sunday event takes all of life and puts it into a digestible "service". Then the only ones held to any standard or responsibility to live every other day as Christ are the leaders. And they have to do it perfectly. So WE as leaders hide our issues instead of dealing with them because we have people to lead and THE SHOW MUST GO ON. The cycle is detrimental to growth.
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written by Dan , April 10, 2008 Great to see some people back on and looking at my stats, it appears I'm the one who was gone. Thanks to all for keeping up and I appreciate the thoughts expressed. I do want to clarify that my post isn't a dissertation on what's wrong in the church but rather my own experiences. I still believe in the church. I still believe in corporate worship. I still believe in leadership. I still believe that the local church is God's plan for reaching that community. And whatever shortcomings the American church has, I chose to be a part of it in a way that wasn't healthy. I wasn't handcuffed. I could have chose another way. I could have taken the needed break after we lost Josiah. I could have sought out accountable relationships. I chose to live with the "mantle of perfection" on me and that's what I won't go back to. And when I scan the horizon, even here in America, I'm encouraged with the conversations that are taking place about authenticity (and not just because it's a buzzword right now). I'm encouraged by pastors and leaders like Craig Groeschel, Erwin McManus, Anne Jackson and Carlos Whittaker to name a few. Yes, I think we have a long way to go but I have hope. Hope in God and hope in the Church. And I also have hope that somehow, someway, in spite of all my own failings and brokenness over what life has thrown at me, I can be used by the Master to help people along the way.
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written by John G. , April 10, 2008 Ya, it wasn't your dissertation on the church, it was mine. What you wrote just brought that to mind. Again, this is just me posting what is in my head based on what you put out, but being used by the Master has zero to do with church. Just waiting for someone to nail 96 thoughts to a door again. And again, I am pretty sure you were never intending to take this post this direction, its just what came to mind. Hope you guys are well. JG
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written by Dan , April 10, 2008 No worries at all bro. That's what blogs are for and it doesn't matter what direction I intended. That's the nature of conversation. Thanks for engaging.
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written by tyler Sayre , April 11, 2008 its interesting that even the reformers werent radicals, they deeply loved their fellowship and as the name suggest only wanted to reform from within, it is the catholic churches response to that which made them out to be anti-catholic, each of the reformers held positions within the catholic church. and intended to stay within the church however were kicked out.i wonder what the response to reform within our churches today would be, i think we're open to it and it is occurring daily not with one post on a door but with daily engagement of convos like this. i believe in constant reform and becoming more like jesus... jesus was the visible of the invisible God. the church is the visible of the now invisible jesus. he is our head...
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written by john garrett , April 11, 2008 My reading of reformers often points to a tipping point, a moment of decision. A point when a different idea became a conflicting ideology. The nature of Christianity is found in servanthood. When you can no longer serve the previous ideal, you become the "radical." Being radical for the sake of attention or because you don't like authority isn't where a lot of us are coming from, rather the inability to adhere to ideologies we can't embrace any longer. Whether or not you attend "church" has nothing to do with being reformer. And from my studies a trademark of reform is giving the religion back to the people and an abandonment of hierarchal systems. But there ya go. . .
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written by tyler Sayre , April 12, 2008 yea, i think thats just the thing, luther stayed in the church. kept serving the church, even though they disagreed with the ideals. they never came to the point where they could 'no longer serve'. and again the reformers never wanted to abandon the heirarchal systems, they held positions within that system, and didnt give them up until they were taken away by the church, what im saying is they didnt attempt to try and create the protestant church. it wasnt supposed to be the revolution they wanted reform - internal. im glad it happened.. but the NINETY FIVE thesis on the door wasnt the radical moment it was quoted as being... and im not sure that we - need another one -
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written by the Juan and only , April 12, 2008 Your blog has had me thinking a lot about what I have been going through right now in my position at my church. I guess I have always identified with the sinner. Even now I look and see myself and see my inability to serve Him in ministry (the church). The need of Gods grace in my life is daily. Interesting, it also drives me to rely on the spirit of God to enable me for every work. This has really spoke to me.. Iv have been reading Charles Surgeons Biography. At one point early on before he even pastored a church. His dad wanted him to go to this top college for his training as a pastor. But as he prayed about it, he felt God speak to him, "Seeketh great things for thineself? Seeketh them not" p.s. im not saying either that if you go to bible college your lame or something.(tyler you rock) and a shout out to John G the one and only
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written by john garrett , April 12, 2008 Tyler - sorry for the typo on 95 Thesis. You should see what I did to an invoice the other day using my laptop! I am a number pad guy lol. No, I don't think they set out to create Protestantism. I do think they were trying to get BACK to what they believed God wanted. I don't want to see another denomination or division of Christianity. I simply believe that Christianity is a daily and community based idea, not a weekly event based one. I believe fellowship is important and that growing together is key, just not in the way it is commonly taken. The Sunday event, Wed event and so on. I genuinely believe it is the daily practice, both personal and collectively that Christ had in mind. At the very least, it is my conviction. Lastly, theory and practice is different. Work in a church and disagree with it, you tell me how long they have you around lol. Juan! You are the one and only. Truly. Love ya man.
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written by Dan , April 12, 2008 Loving the dialogue... and as with a lot of things, I find myself in the middle. Maybe conflicted is more accurate but yeah, very enriching.
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written by Alpha , April 12, 2008 With you bro. this is where I feel I am at a lot of the time man. Love you bid dude. Keep the mac of. A1
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written by ZK , April 14, 2008 Wow! I am totally digging the dialogue...I would have to say that I am probably torn somewhere in all of this. I too, took on the responsibility of the "expectations" and wish I never had. Due to visible "imperfections", I am presently out doing life. I would hope that sometime in the future, my wife and I would be allowed to continue the "calling" but Dan, I am in total agreement of not going back to doing it the same way. Write comment
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